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But, he reflected, he must have been entertaining enough; he’s secured this date, after all. Should he reassure her that he wasn’t an alcoholic? Would she question why a witty and lively extrovert from the other night had morphed into a shy sack of nerves? It can even add a little spark, at least initially; but too much can ruin the whole thing. Because you’ve thought about it, it’s now lurking about at the back of your mind.Full of liquid courage, he’d finally blurted: “Would you like to meet up? Sure, some people are more naturally confident than others, but confidence can be learned. If these topics come out naturally during conversation, all well and good; if they don’t, no matter.
In a 2009 study: “They told 14 of 28 men recruited for their study that the attractive woman they were going to meet was nervous and worried about how she would be perceived by them.
It helps them feel special and more at ease and diverting your focus away from yourself makes you feel more calm and confident.
Keep an ear on the language you use; words are very powerful and affect the other person.
Sprinkle your conversation with ‘happy words’ like “pleased, relaxed, comfortable, interesting, exciting, thrilled,” and so on – pretty soon your date will start to feel good. You might listen to a relaxation CD or MP3 and as you do so, imagine actually being on the date and feeling super-calm (but excited enough to be engaged in the experience).
Being more relaxed and calm during your date allows you to feel more spontaneous and playful, all of which means you will have more fun and increase the likelihood you’ll be more attractive. Flattery can get you everywhere If you prepared a meal for your date or spent an hour getting ready and they don’t acknowledge this, it can feel like a slap in the face.