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No matter the obstacle, we keep finding love and romance." So, here's how dating in seven different cities has adapted to the advent of digital technology: "In the city with arguably the most options, New York City, people discussed how it was hard to settle down because every corner you turned revealed more potential opportunities." This density of young, single people means that online dating is insanely popular, "almost everyone in all the focus groups there used the sites," and Ansari heard stories "like the woman who was Tindering on her way to a date to try to find a better date afterward." This is probably why the average age of marriage in New York City is around 30, for both men and women, as compared to the national average of 29 for men and 27 for women.
There are a lot of options available, both online and in person, so there's no incentive to really invest in any one relationship.
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When Ansari looked at the stats, the picture only became more grim.
A "comprehensive, in-depth sociological investigation" on the "many challenges of looking for love in the digital age" is not the book you'd necessarily expect from Ansari, but that's exactly what Modern Romance is.
focus group participants explained, you "could go out with someone and, if it went badly, be fairly confident [you] would never see them again.
Like, in a way, you murdered them in your mind.'" The biggest difference between Los Angeles and New York City, according to Ansari, is the difference between car culture and riding the subway everywhere: "Instead of walking in streets and subway stations full of potential options, I would be alone in my Prius filled with sh*tty gasoline, listening to a dumb podcast.